When it comes to divorce, nothing is harder than breaking the news to your children. There’s certainly no easy way to do it. Depending on their ages and maturity level, they may understand or react differently to the news. So how and what do you to tell them? Here’s some tips for telling kids about your divorce.
Telling Kids: How To Break Divorce To Your Children
Present A United Front
No matter how bad things are between you and your spouse, it’s important that your present a united front. When telling kids about divorce, it will go better if you both address it as a team. Let them see that you will work together to do what’s best for them. And even though the marriage is over, you will continue to parent them as a team. Odds are, your kids have sensed the tension between you two. So seeing you together and as a united front, may be some comforting reassurance to the stress they have felt.
Make Sure They Know It’s Not Their Fault
When telling kids about your divorce, you want to make sure they know it isn’t their fault. In many cases, kids can’t understand why this is happening. In attempts to find a reason, they often blame themselves for your marriage problems. You want to be sure to let them know that is not the case. In fact, it can be a good idea to both admit you’ve been wrong. Let them know you are both at fault for the problems you having. Then, reassure them it has absolutely nothing to do with them and they are not the problem.
Assure Them You’ll Still Be a Family
Divorce can be a very uncertain time for children. While they don’t quite know what to expect, they do know it means a big change. They’ll experience a loss of comfort and security. So it’s important to help them feel as secure as possible. Reassure them, that despite the divorce, you will still be a family. Things may be different because you no longer all live under one roof. But that won’t change the fact that they still have both of their parents and their love.
Don’t Always Expect Tears
Depending on the age of your children, they may not fully understand what divorce will mean. So instead of lots of tears, you may expect questions about their immediate future. Kids want to know how this will affect their life and their fun. In that case, they may ask questions about school, friends, or even their birthday presents. For the most part, they’ll want to know what this means for them and their comforts. So after telling kids about the divorce, give them a change to ask questions that are important to them. It’s okay if they cry or become upset and it’s okay if they don’t.
