After coming to the difficult conclusion that you want a divorce, the next hardest thing is telling your spouse. Even if you’ve been thinking about divorce for a while, breaking the news to your spouse might seem impossible to do. However, there are some methods for making this part of the process a little bit easier. Following, you will find a few pieces of advice to consider when it comes to suggesting divorce…
Suggesting Divorce: Breaking the News
Find the Right Place and Time
It can be hard to figure out when and where you should be suggesting divorce to your spouse. However, there are certain times that are better than others. Try to find a time when you both will be free for at least a few hours. This will help to not make you feel rushed and give you plenty of time to explain things to your spouse. Additionally, try to choose a private place where you won’t be interrupted. For example, your house can work if there aren’t any other people there or likely to arrive.
“Ripping the Band-Aid Off”
The first time suggesting divorce to your spouse can be the toughest. However, that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible for you to do, or that it’s not worth doing. It just means you should take time to prepare when you break the news. Even if you and your spouse have both been unhappy, suggesting divorce might catch them off-guard.
To help ease your spouse into it, consider calmly mentioning that you have some painful news. This helps your spouse get into the proper mindset. Then, let them know directly that you want a divorce. Dancing around the subject, or the actual words, might make your spouse feel anxious and have them agitated. Adding that you wish to handle things respectfully can also help them not feel “attacked” by your suggestion. Keep in mind that their reaction can be unpredictable, and you should be prepared for anything…
Expect the Unexpected
Every spouse will respond differently to this kind of suggestion. Some may begin to berate you and blame you for the marriage failing. Others might claim you’ll be ruined by the costs, or you’ll be lonely for the rest of your life. They might even beg you to reconsider.
Whatever the case, what is important is to remain calm. Ignore their emotionally-driven attacks or pleas, and instead try to encourage them to talk. Let them know you’re willing to listen and be kind, but be firm as well. Emphasize that you are serious about your decision, so they can begin to process the fact that the marriage is over.
Suggesting divorce is the first step in beginning your new chapter in life. It might seem like a challenging step to make, but it is well worth it. Using the tips given here can help make that step all the more doable for you.
