You and your spouse never see eye-to-eye anymore. It feels like you’ve hit rock bottom. The person you married maybe isn’t the person you fell in love with anymore. Or perhaps, you yourself have changed. So, you’re thinking that the next step is divorce, right? Well, that depends. It’s best to reflect on what this relationship means to you before rushing things and considering divorce.
Considering Divorce: What to Think About Before Deciding
What You Want
Something to think about is what you want out of this relationship. Has your wants and needs changed since the beginning? If so, have you talked about them to your spouse? You should ask yourself what you want out of your relationship and see if your needs are being met. Even small things pile up over time. Do you want freedom or do you want to be acknowledged? If this is the case, think over these things on your own for a while before considering divorce. After sorting your thoughts, relay them to your spouse. They may have had no idea!
Can Change Happen or is this Irreparable
Additionally, another important aspect when considering divorce is if change can happen or if the damage done is irreparable. To aid in figuring this out, try going to couples counseling. Work on the tough things together and see if your relationship is repairable. However, give this time. Everything may not get fixed in a day. Even though that’s the case, it’s necessary that you’ve gone down all the avenues to fix this.
On top of this, if you are unsure, it’s good to talk to friends and family. This can be a good time to vent and get different perspectives.
Pros and Cons of Staying and Leaving
Hopefully, when looking back on your marriage so far, there’s been good times and bad times. Try to focus on both instead of just the negative when considering divorce. Things like being a good parent, doing their share of the housework and always being honest are important! However, things such as no connection, bad communication and cheating can be a deal-breaker. Consider the pros and cons of your marriage! Decide whether or not the cons outweigh the pros and if there’s a way to fix them.
Maybe considering divorce isn’t your first option. However, if you feel like you’ve run out of things to try, you may feel like you want to take the leap. If you feel this way, make sure you communicate with your spouse. Maybe, the two of you want to pick up couples counseling or a different counselor if you’re already there. Make a pros and cons list of your marriage. While looking at that list, determine if things are fixable and maybe it’ll turn things around.