When going through a divorce, the process can seem never ending. From financial battles to custody rights, you may be asking yourself, how will I get through this? Which is why it helps to find certain things that will help you through the process. So here’s some refocusing tools to keep your mind and time moving forward in your divorce.
Refocusing Tools: Helping You Get Through Your Divorce
Find a Project
Finding a project can become one of your most effective refocusing tools. In a time when other things seem to be crumbling, it’s good to have something you can dive into and focus on. For some people, this would be a craft or DIY project. A lot of times, these things help because it feels like something we can physically fix. In other cases, it can be more of the experience of learning a new craft. When you are learning, your mind can focus on that new subject and not the other things going on in life. And as you learn more and perfect the craft, you’ll gain a sense of accomplishment. So finding a new project to invest your efforts, time, and brain power into can be both healing and rewarding.
Create a List of Goals
After going through a divorce, it’s normal to experience feelings of failure. So instead of focusing on a failed marriage, it can be good to focus on life goals. Odds are, you had some at one point in time. And you may have put some on hold due to your relationship. But now with these big changes in life, it can be a good time to assess and reevaluate your goals. So make a list of where you want to be both short term–in the coming weeks– and long term–over the next few years. This is one of the most helpful refocusing tools you can have because it gets you where you want to be.
Build Routines with Your Kids
If you have children, you know this transition can be difficult. In fact, it’s probably very difficult on you, so just imagine for your kids. At this time, you’re undergoing so many changes, your life may feel totally off- balance. So it’s important to establish routines with your kids. You can start with something small, like a bedtime routine. Or maybe something fun–like making a certain night a designated movie night. By doing this, it will help you and your children re-adjust to a new life and schedule.
In short, refocusing tools allow you to place your brain power and energy into something useful. If you don’t use these refocusing tools, you can find yourself constantly thinking about or discouraged by your divorce. So instead of placing your focus there, refocus on your new life and what you want that to look like.
