When it comes to getting a divorce, the process is not easy on your emotions. But it tends to be twice as hard when you have children in the mix. As a parent, you never want to hurt your child but sometimes putting them in the middle of your divorce can come naturally. So here’s tips on how to maintain parent civility with your partner, to avoid placing your child in the middle.
Parent Civility: Meet In the Middle So Your Child Doesn’t Have To
Cooperate With Your Ex
When it comes to divorce, we tend to hope it means we no longer have to deal with our ex. After all, that’s why you’re getting a divorce right? Well, when you share children together, you won’t ever be able to totally get rid of that person. So it’s best to learn to cooperate on a parental basis.
Avoid Criticizing Your Ex
While you probably have many complaints about your ex, your kids do not. Remember, your children are not getting a divorce from that parent. So don’t let your own opinion or experiences with your ex spouse influence your child. Therefore, it’s best to refrain from criticizing your ex or presenting them in a bad light. At least, while in the company of children you both share.
Avoid the Pawn Game
During a divorce and even after the fact, it can become easy to play the pawn game. By that, you will allow your child to be the pawn in your relationship with your ex. Instead of dealing with your ex yourself, you may go through your child as a middle man. Furthermore, you may use your child as leverage to negotiate decisions.
In addition, you should make sure not to become a pawn of your child’s. During the time of instability, you child may take the opportunity to gain some leverage. But you should remember that your child needs consistency now more than ever. Therefore, if possible, you should try to present a united front with your ex spouse.
While going through this divorce, most things feel unstable and your child may lose their sense of security. Therefore, you need to maintain as much parent civility with your spouse as possible. That way you can assure your child that though things may be changing, your parent civility will remain.
