When your divorce is finally over, you’ll probably be eager to move on with your life. Still, there might be some nagging feelings holding you back. In these cases, it can be useful to practice some post-divorce forgiveness. Doing so can help you get started on your new chapter…
Post-Divorce Forgiveness: Making Changes
Why forgive?
Post-divorce forgiveness can seem like a bit of a tall order at first. This is especially true if you feel your divorce was due to something your spouse did. Why should you forgive them for how they’ve wronged you? As it turns out, there’s a couple reasons why.
For starters, everyone makes mistakes in marriage. Even if your spouse’s were larger overall, by being able to forgive them, you can also forgive yourself for things you felt you did. Also, holding onto that grudge can keep you full of anger for the foreseeable future.
Forgive, but don’t forget
Something important to know about post-divorce forgiveness is you aren’t throwing away the lessons you’ve learned by doing so. Just because you forgive your ex doesn’t mean you need to forget what they did or how they treated you. Instead, it means you’ve emotionally processed the divorce, without forgetting the important practical lessons.
Plus, you don’t have to completely cut them out to forgive them. For example, forgiveness can be especially useful if you have to co-parent with them. Still, if you’d like, you can also practice forgiveness without ever needing to see them again.
How to forgive
You can practice post-divorce forgiveness in a number of ways. Some people like to simply take the time to reflect on their marriage, what went wrong, and why. By doing this, they might see why they and their ex did the things they did before the divorce. This can make it easier to forgive them for what’s happened.
Others like to take a more physical approach. They might get rid of pictures which have their ex in them as part of the process. They may also sell or donate any of their belongings they still have. Ultimately, what matters is figuring out what helps you move on the most.
