While many people may wish they could avoid talking to their ex after divorce, that isn’t always possible. If you’re co-parenting, then talking to your ex can be a pretty stressful event. However, it is possible to develop healthy communication. Doing so can make your interactions a lot more bearable…
Healthy Communication: Talking To Your Ex
Know your objective
The first step in getting healthy communication is knowing what your main goal is for each conversation. What exactly are you talking to your ex about? Keep your focus mainly on achieving that goal as best as possible. Write it down, and keep your conversation focused on that goal only.
Knowing your goal means you can also better prepare for when you have to talk to your ex. You can practice what you want to say, how you want to say it, and make sure your goal gets across to them clearly. Doing so can help smooth out your conversation and ensure that you don’t say something you didn’t want to.
Listen to your ex
While it’s important to keep your goal in focus, you should also remember to listen to your ex. Making your ex feel like they’re heard is important for healthy communication. Introduce what you have to say, but be willing to listen to what your ex has to say in response.
Listening to your ex is also important for having an open mind. It’s important to remember what your goal is for each conversation. However, if you’re focused on solving things your way instead of just solving the problem, that can lead to conflict. Be willing to listen to your ex’s ideas, and see which ones are better for solving the issue.
Avoid the name-calling
If you want healthy communication with your ex, then it’s important to avoid the name-calling. Accusing them of something, even if you believe it to be true, will just incite an argument. If there’s one thing which will quickly turn your conversation toxic, it’s a finger-pointing argument.
Instead, just focus on sticking to the facts and being polite. Many times, if your polite to your ex, they’ll be polite back. However, there might be times where they try to pick a fight. In these situations, it’s best to disengage, and tell them you’ll be interested in seriously talking only when they are. Sooner or later, they’ll understand this and be willing to actually talk.
