Being friends post-divorce with your ex-spouse may seem impossible. Divorce is such a tough experience to go through. Making the effort to be friends after the fact sounds even more difficult. However, there may be reasons why you want to be friendly after divorce: children, friends or a peace of mind. No matter the reason, if being friends post-divorce is something you want, it’s not always a bad thing to have.
Friends Post-Divorce: Healthy Relationships
Take Your Time
Having a genuine friendship with your ex-spouse may take some time. In the meantime, try to focus on what’s most important: your children and your space. If you have to communicate with your ex immediately because the two of you have kids, try to remember that. Your children need your love and support.
Other than that, make sure you’ve taken all the time you need away from the relationship. Healing doesn’t happen in a couple of days. Try to depend upon friends and family at this time. Also, get to know yourself more! This is a completely new stage of your life and you’re not the same person you were before. Knowing who you are is better for yourself and for becoming friends post-divorce.
Figure Out What Works
Once you’re ready to communicate with your ex-spouse outside of co-parenting, you can discuss steps of building a friendship together. Pin-point what style of communication works-and doesn’t work-for the both of you. However, if the type of communication you had during your marriage didn’t work, try a different approach! Take it slow and remember to be patient with one another. This is new for the both of you so understanding is necessary on your path to being friends post-divorce.
Boundaries
Like anything, setting boundaries are a must. If you and your ex-spouse are doing an amazing job being friends post-divorce, great! No matter how good things are going, there are still reasons why the divorce happened. Try not to fall into old patterns of being too close with your ex. This can harm the progress of your newfound friendship. On top of that, it can also open up old wounds. Keep in mind that your ex-turned-friend is still a friend. Treat them how you would any other friend.
Becoming friends post-divorce with your ex may not come quickly or easily. However, if this is what the two of you want, it’s worth the effort. After you’ve taken time for yourself, be considerate of your children and everyone’s feelings. That is a great beginning to the new chapter you all will have.
