With how difficult divorce can be, feelings of anger are usually common after the dust has settled. However, this post-divorce bitterness will only get in the way of your new life. Instead, it’s better to start letting these feelings good as best as you can…
Post-Divorce Bitterness: Moving On
Pinpoint the bitterness
Post-divorce bitterness can be a bit of a general feeling you experience. However, it often times has some specific reasons behind it. If you want to get rid of this bitterness, you’ll first have to figure out what things in specific are causing you to be frustrated. A good way to do this is to write these reasons down.
Get a journal or a notebook and begin writing out the reasons why you feel this bitterness. Maybe it’s because you feel like your divorce should’ve gone better. Or, it might be because you feel like you ex has moved on while you’re stuck trying to pick up the pieces. Once you have these reasons down, then it’s time to work on changing them.
Change your thinking
Tackling that post-divorce bitterness means working on re-framing those negative thoughts. It’s pretty easy to look at things in a negative light when you have those bitter feelings. However, remember that things aren’t always so black and white. There’s always a way to see the positive sideof the situation.
For instance, maybe your ex has a new partner. Instead of being upset, be glad that someone else has to deal with them while you get to go out and live your new life. Just because they may seem like their in a “better” situation doesn’t always mean they really are.
Talk to others
It’s very easy to get tunnel vision when dealing with post-divorce bitterness. It can be difficult to really change your thinking when you’re on your own. This makes it hard to get over your bitterness. As a result, it’s not a bad idea to seek out some extra help when you feel you need it.
For example, talking to family and friends can help you get out of your negative rut. There’s also professional help in the form of therapists. You can also talk to others who have been in your situation before. Talking to people in divorce support groups can help you learn how others have dealt with their own bitterness.
